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Because if you hadn't guessed by now, I'm white, and my partner is black. People literally stop in their tracks, their jaw falls open and their brain suddenly seems to malfunction. Contrary to what you might expect, the more youthful observers are often the worst culprits. On one occasion, a child of no more than 10 years old nudged a friend and said much too loud "Look!
A white guy with a black girl. That's not something you see every day! Some days I can make myself ignore it, but sometimes I'm tired, and I just want to be able to hold hands with my partner without feeling people's eyes on us from all sides.Take Me Out SA Season 1 Episode 2 (FULL)
Sometimes I want to turn around and scream "For fuck's sake! Other times I think about telling people that if they're so damn interested by us, we'll let them take a picture for R People come up and tell us that what we are doing is "important" or "revolutionary" or "special. But worse than the staring and gawking is the perceived judgment that so often comes with it.
Waiters and waitresses, both white and of colour, are visibly shocked when my partner takes the bill at a restaurant, as they've obviously assumed she's with me for my money; sometimes black women look at my partner and tut — they seem to feel that having a white boyfriend is some kind of conscious betrayal on her part; we once had to leave a hotel where we were visiting my parents for the day, because my partner felt uncomfortable about the way some old Germans were looking at her as we sat by the pool — something about the situation led her to believe they thought she was my prostitute.
Then there are the positive judgments. I've even felt the judgments from many of my closest white friends. They've joked about my "jungle fever," or implied that I obviously just have a "thing" for black women, or that I always have to be different. In their eyes, this is confirmed by the fact that I just so happen to have had two black girlfriends in a row.
Never mind that every girlfriend I had before that was white. I suppose you might blame it all on the legacies of apartheid, but it's certainly not only my South African friends that are guilty. When I took my partner to England for the first time last year, an uncle reproached me for not "warning" him that she was black.
Even more strange, my English friends kept mistakenly calling my partner by my black ex-girlfriend's name. This is certainly not something that has ever happened when I've moved from one white girlfriend to another.
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But suddenly, it seemed my partner was just "some other black woman" that I'd got with because, well, she's black, and apparently I'm into that now. Sometimes, people still just appear to feel that whatever our relationship is about it is just wrong for a white and a black to be together. These are the types who will openly shake their heads and turn up their noses.
I always wonder what they would say if I asked them why they think it's wrong. I'm sure many of them wouldn't have an answer. I sometimes wonder how many people are scared of the idea of cross-racial dating or relationships because of all of this nonsense - all the assumptions, stereotypes and judgments that they would have to deal with from other people.
Sadly, some other black women also seem to swallow the reductive narratives.
When they discover I have a black partner, they'll suddenly start flirting with me. Again, they don't seem to stop to think that maybe I love my partner for who she is, not for her colour. They just think I have a "thing" for black women, so they're also in with a chance.