Push-Pull is Flirting for Sociopaths * Hooking Up Smart : Hooking Up Smart
It's utilized because it works.
The 10 Dating Games Men And Women Play (Whether You Realize It Or Not)
If we don't understand the game of hot and cold, we can find ourselves pulled into a drama of confusion. Modern dating is tricky. Once we have the ability to see hot and cold for what it is, we're less likely to suffer its negative effects. Understanding this type of behavior is crucial even for those of you committed to not playing games. Follow, and they flee. Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability. Our automatic response is to chase when the "other" pulls away.
What was once readily available is suddenly gone, and no matter how hard we try to regain our partner's former affection, it now seems beyond our reach. No, your partner's not confused. They don't need more time to figure out their emotions. They're not sorting out their last breakup, and they're not swamped at work. Although that may be your hope, it's not the case. And it's crafted for control. The phases of Hot and Cold: The "hot" phase begins with a bang of overwhelming recognition.
Your partner has placed you firmly on their radar. Bathed in newfound attention, flattery and flirtation spark a strong attraction for this person. You quickly find yourself craving more of this delicious new feeling.
This phase lures you into the hopes of the possibility of romance.
Contact is reciprocal, time is made to see each other, and forward movement is evident. There's an easy, open connection.
How do I handle the push/pull game? - negeriku.info Community Forums
The hot phase is designed to get you in the gate that leads to the corral, where you'll later be harnessed. Then comes the "cold" phase. Your partner begins to pull away making you long for their previous attention.
Whether initiated by a cold-shoulder, avoidance, or lack of communication This phase activates loss, making you yearn for them and wait with bated breath for their call or text. You wonder what happened and begin to question every move you made.
Without realizing it, you've submitted to their need for emotional and psychological control. These are the basic dance steps to this type of behavior.
Each step is a phase, and each phase has a cycle. This formula is predictable and consistent even when your partner's reactions are not.How To Push and Pull A Guy Correctly To Get Him To Like You and Build Interest
Simply put, when you pull away, they'll re-engage you. When you advance, they'll pull away. After a cycle or two of this routine you'll be so confused you won't know which way to move. The pattern repeats itself for as long as you're willing to play this game.
The beautiful truth is that this has nothing to do with you.
The Dating Game of Hot and Cold
You're not at fault. There's nothing you did, or didn't do, that's causing this. Don't let your friends analyze your situation and convince you otherwise. Just notice where you are in the cycle and don't let it disempower you. Understanding what comes next puts you back in control of your own reactions.
But assortative mating, then as now, was the norm, and for both sexes being part of a couple was generally preferable to being on the market. It was just a question of how high they could aim.
Women played hard to get in an attempt to appear more in demand. By acting like they had a lot of options, they were often able to secure attention and subsequently commitment from more attractive men. Certainly, the social script allows for both women and men to indulge in casual sex and avoid relationships, especially before they turn 30 or so.
They require liquid courage to go through with the casual hookup. The fear of rejection and being made to look foolish in front of friends trumps the very real desire to connect. Guys and girls often resort to push-pull, sending a deliberately confusing and inconsistent series of signals to ostensibly drive the other person into a frenzy of desire and need.
The technique was formally codified by sleazy pickup artists: A tension loop creates unresolved emotional tension inside a woman, increases it, releases it by bringing closure to it, and then sparks it all over again. The problem is that resorting to this strategy to stimulate interest is a relationship killer. This research examined the association between relationship satisfaction and later breakup status, focusing on the temporal changes in satisfaction ratings of individuals in newly formed dating relationships.
Individuals with fluctuating levels of satisfaction also reported relatively lower commitment.