The Jewish fear of intermarriage - BBC News
Religion should not be the focus of the relationship, if you love someone enough Dating Jewish men who are a fit for me,who accept me eating kosher and. to get married to a non Muslim woman, mainly a Christian or a Jew, . But the Muslim man is able to dominate his Christian or Jewish wife. 'But, child, remember the racial and religious differences between you. 'He's a fine young man with a great future,' I hear her tell her friends, with pride in her voice. He doesn't look Jewish and his ways are not Jewish, In fact, you wouldn't .
The intermarriage rate was 43 percent in and just 17 percent in The bigger problem is that these intermarriages are not just coming from the children of intermarried couples or those who do not identify as Jewish but a majority who consider themselves religiously Jewish.
The matchmakers at the dating sites are either uninterested, just looking out to make sure their customer gets a match regardless if is good or not. You have a pulse, he has a pulse.
As a woman in her mid-thirties, I can say I was mistreated by the shadchanim, matchmakers more than then by the men, one expects better behavior from the matchmakers. Most of the matchmakers are Orthodox women, even rabbis and they should be concerned about Jewish continuity and be curbing intermarriage hardly.
The matchmakers on the dating sites act like the entire Jewish community coming for their help is ultra-Orthodox rather than different levels of observance, and take the issues of the Shidduch Crisis from one region and apply it to other areas, cities, and countries. The sexism is rampant and they forget we are living in a modern world and someone who is modern Orthodox lives in both worlds.
They want the perfect pre-feminism woman, all pretty, and no brains to serve the men and their whims.Dating & Marriage Advice : Jewish Dating
I have been told to change my hair, makeup have photos professionally done because men just look at the picture and have to like what they see, even though there was nothing wrong with my looks. Their demands contradict everything modern women are told they should not do for a man, change their looks or themselves. This age is about being who you are and you should be liked on your merits if not, they are not worth your time. Ironically, the sexist double standard does not apply to the men; men are precious crown jewels to be treated with the utmost care, where it is supposed to the reverse.
Repeatedly I have been told by matchmakers to dumb myself down, both my career and education not to offend and intimidate the men all to make myself more marketable. For the young women in the ultra-Orthodox community, who are less confident because they are still young and impressionable, the criticism can have disastrous and deadly consequences.
Eating disorders are disproportionately more rampant in the Orthodox community than any other segment of the American population.
The Jewish fear of intermarriage
The woman was most concerned about how that philosophy and disparagement would affect other young women. This is not a joke, and it is not funny at all. You could literally be killing people by making these suggestions and perpetuating the ethos that underlies them. Trying to be open-minded and not superficial, I revisited a one man I had not given enough of a chance mostly because he was local, that was the biggest mistake of my recent online dating cycle.
We had nothing really in common all he was interested in fundraising for his business venture including from me, talking about himself, and bad mouthing everyone else.
The more I did not want to go with this man the more his matchmakers, who were personal friends of his, forced him literally down my throat to the point that they were stalking me. I complained and instead of reprimanding the man or his matchmakers, sexism and favoritism towards the man prevailed, and I was the one thrown off because the matchmaking site said, since I am not comfortable I should not be on the site.
Therefore, the receptionist at the call center decided my online dating fate by erasing my profiles and locking me out on the entire Jewish matchmaking network. I was a victim being punished just as the MeToo movement was exploding.
What does the Qur’an say about the interfaith marriage?
No one should be blocked from a Jewish matchmaking for marriage site because he or she did not want to go with someone, it is the most personal decision. In this intermarriage climate, these sites should be doing everything possible to ensure every Jew willing should be able to marry another Jew.
Afterward, I tried private matchmakers but in my area, if you are looking for someone outside the ultra-Orthodox world they are a thing of the past. Most personal matchmakers are in the ultra-Orthodox world where matchmaking is the normal way of getting a partner for marriage. For someone of my religious observance, I am too religious to intermarry and not religious for the ultra-Orthodox community.
I tried contacting the limited few in my city. I was looking for him to be my savior, we talked, I explained what I went through, he told me to send my profile then crickets. It is sad that even matchmakers resort to ghosting. Matchmakers and rabbis have an obligation, duty, and moral responsibility to help a Jewish single find a Jewish spouse.
The way Jewish online dating and matchmaking is set up and the potential dating pool only discourages a Jewish single even more. Besides, all of the classical interpretations focused on the first part of the verse which is addressed to Muslim men. Most of the classical and contemporary exegetes carried out an in-depth analysis of the first part of this verse addressed to Muslim men, while they gave less importance to the second part that concerns Muslim women on the same issue.
Christian or Jewish women who are considered by the majority of the same commentators as believers. Most of the exegetes defend their opinion by referring to another verse that legitimates the first verse and proves that Muslim men are allowed to marry Christian or Jewish women who are not included in the concept of disbelief or Kufr  as stated by other scholars.
He added that the concept of polytheist is not clearly defined though he agrees with other scholars in giving authorization to Muslim men to marry Christian and Jewish women . For the second part of the said verse that seems to be addressed to both Muslim men and women and to grant both of them the same authorization, we can affirm that Muslim scholars and jurists unanimously agree on the fact that marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim man, whether he is polytheist, Christian or Jew, is strongly prohibited.
Wanted nice and normal Jewish man, do they even exist? | Bonnie K. Goodman | The Blogs
Ibn Achour assumed the inexistence of a religious text that allows or forbids the marriage of Muslim women to Christian or Jewish men.
Yet, other commentators tried to justify this prohibition by providing another verse that assumes the following: Allah is best aware of their faith. They are not lawful for them the disbelieversnor are they the disbelievers lawful for them. The revelation context and the general meaning of this verse are not, however, associated with the case of marriage to non-Muslims.
The classical interpretation states that this verse was actually revealed when two polytheist men from Quraish asked for their sisters to be back, Oum Kelthoum and Bint Aqabah, after they had converted to Islam and migrated to Medina in order to join the Muslim community .
It is worth reminding that the Prophet signed at that time an agreement called Al-Hudaybya Treaty with the opposing tribe of Quraish to stop the war for ten years. This agreement stipulated, among others, that any Quraychit woman who would join the Prophet in Medina without the permission of her legal tutor should be sent back to Mecca. In a community still enveloped by post-Holocaust trauma, "marrying out" is seen as granting Hitler a posthumous victory. Of course, all this isn't necessarily so clear to outsiders, who see the Jewish community as a confident and successful ethnic group, with little to fear.
As a result, Jewish concerns about intermarriage are often dismissed as unadulterated racism. Who people marry or don't marry is their business and nobody else's.
Wanted nice and normal Jewish man, do they even exist?
But whether we like it or not, our life choices affect those close to us. That doesn't mean we should make decisions on the basis of what our parents want.
But those in the public sphere have the responsibility to discuss sensitive issues, such as intermarriage, appropriately. Appealing to old prejudices, as Freeman's article does, is of no help to anybody, however humorous the intended effect. Oh, and did I mention funny? It would be interesting to hear what her actual experiences of Jewish men have been.
Is this a justification for sticking to non-Jewish men? Does she actually think she has to justify this in the first place?