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Two women in Christian leadership on whether Christians can be 'unequally yoked'. Resources & Support Paul says 'do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever' in 2 Corinthians. Adapted from Kathy's blog at thegospelcoalition. org. Instead, the Bible gives Christians the liberty to make God-glorifying decisions Drinking, dating, kissing, gambling, smoking, clothing, music, movies, television. If the gospel really makes a difference in our lives, it should show itself in the worst of moments. But if Christian dating looks no different than the.
The uncertainty lies in getting them there. How will you shepherd them through the transition of singleness into marriage? This document has been put together in an effort to encourage you as a parent. We want our kids to get married one day. The process of finding a spouse is not something to fear, but should be seen as yet another opportunity to speak godly wisdom and direction into the life of your child.
There is no set script. The Bible makes no mention of dating, at least not in the modern sense of the word.
In biblical times, marriages were mostly arranged by parents. Therefore it is not directly addressed in scripture. However, the fact that the Bible does not speak to a modern sociological change does not mean it excludes any clear and appropriate instruction in this area. For example, adolescence did not exist in biblical times in the same way that it does today.
And yet, we have no problem applying biblical truths to the parenting of teenagers. The Bible does give us specific commands in the area of purity, love, honesty, wise judgment and a whole compilation of exhortations that must be applied when Christians begin to build close relationships with the opposite sex.
The biggest issue in modern dating is the lack of parental oversight, not the act of dating itself. Christian parents must teach, articulate, and apply these truths of scripture as they shepherd their teenagers to think and act biblically when it comes to finding a spouse. We want you to make those decisions. Therefore, we designed this document to be a resource for the kinds of questions you should be asking and most importantly to encourage you to effectively communicate the answers to your teenager.
Here is a list of questions we think you should prayerfully consider and discuss as parents and in turn communicate with your teenager. Use this document as a helpful starting point in applying biblical principles to the area of dating. How do you define dating? This may seem like a small question but it is important to have a clear idea of what you mean when you say the term dating. Do you mean courting?
Does a date have to be chaperoned?
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Is it only an exclusive relationship for the purpose of finding a spouse? If so will you allow for a casual trip to go get ice cream with a friend of the opposite sex? How about with a group?
How about prom with a friend? Your teenager has different categories for each of these. How will you define the different levels of possible relationships?
It is wise to be on the same page with your definitions to avoid talking past one another. What role do you as the parent play in the dating process?
On one end of the spectrum are arranged marriages.
On the other end, teenagers are completely autonomous. Where in that spectrum should you be? As a teenager, your child will soon be 18 and a legal adult. At some point before then, you ought to teach them how to make right decisions concerning the opposite sex.
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As a parent you should desire that your child would one day find a spouse. The important question is how will they get there? How will you intentionally shepherd them towards this? How much oversight will you give in both the decision over when to date as well as whom to date?
Your instruction should begin long before your child is actually ready to date. Proverbs 4 Deuteronomy 6: You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
Ultimately this is a wisdom issue that you as the parent will need to decide. There is no set age, rather through prayer, discernment and conversations with your teenager. You, as the parent will gauge the maturity and readiness of your child. Is your daughter prone to be boy crazy? Does your son show signs of responsibility and integrity?
Have you talked with them about sex and purity? Do they understand that singleness, even if it is temporary, is a gift 1 Cor. First and foremost do they love Jesus? What behaviors do they demonstrate modesty, flirting, comments, and body language that could be misleading to others?
Spiritual Principle Black and White Areas Debates regarding gray area issues have caused major rifts between individuals, communities and churches. This is because we have blurred the understanding of spiritual preference v. A spiritual principle is teaching specifically found in Scripture. For example, 1 Thessalonians 4: There is no ambiguity and therefore no room for freedom.
It is clearly wrong to view pornography, fornicate, etc. With spiritual principles, we are called to speak truth, bear humility, and love as we appropriately correct a brother or sister who is acting against a principle clearly taught in Scripture. For example, if one believer decides to refrain from kissing until marriage, while another decides to kiss on the second date, is one believer more right than the other?
The Bible says nothing on this topic. Therefore, there is freedom for the individual to choose what is best. Continuing the above example, it is fine for a Christian to choose not to kiss until marriage.
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However, when that same person begins to tell others that kissing before marriage is sin or somehow less spiritual, they are making their preference a principle, therefore putting others in unbiblical shackles. To judge any person apart from their sin is indeed sinful.
All other matters are to be judged by the only Judge and Lawgiver, our Heavenly Father. The Lord has created everyone with distinctions that bring together a holistic community. To not celebrate differences in others that do not bring harm to the body or denounce the glory of God belittles one of the reasons God created us - namely that He would be glorified through our diversity while at the same time being glorified through our unity. God has modeled the need for giving grace to others by giving grace to us through the sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ.
Still, one of the most difficult things for Christians to do is to actually give grace. The main reason many present their preferences as principles is due to a lack of love shown practically through giving grace. If the Bible teaches that something is sin, then it is sin.
Do not do it.