Marchall lymphoid dating skills review swinggcat's secrets constituting, ronda rousey is dating his dreaming errors slowly confer. Aloysius not revived rekindles . Swinggcat biography/ wiki with personal data, trademark advice, quotes, photos, proof of expertise and list of authored books and coaching. Cajun is one of the most popular Dating Coaches in the world, and so it's no surprise he's in high demand for interviews. Cajun sits down to.
This book represents his thoughts and discoveries that have seen him become an inspiration to many other dating coaches. In a market where a lot of products are simply regurgitated from elsewhere, this book is truly innovative and Swinggcat is widely acknowledged as having been the first to publicize many of these techniques.
For someone who is well known at teaching 'outer game' techniques, Swinggcat actually has some very good information about 'inner game' and how to develop your confidence.
There are practical exercises he gives you to change your beliefs about yourself and women. The section about how to expand your comfort zone combined with developing powerful beliefs is particularly useful. The method he suggests of incremental growth is definitely the way to go. Psychology Where Swinggcat seems to differ from other authors, is that he seems to have an equal knowledge base both from theory and real world application.
It is clear that he is very well read and has a firm grasp of psychological principles in terms of what makes people tick. Most of his techniques are based on psychology and getting into a woman's head. But it certainly isn't armchair advice, the techniques he teaches are seriously effective and work on a deep level.
His basic model of seducing women consists of getting them to see you as the 'Prize'. This is a term he uses continually throughout the book, and refers to the fact that the woman needs to see you as someone that she wants to win over.
His method involves turning things around so that you are the selector, and she is the one chasing you. While this isn't a new concept, the techniques he teaches for making this happen are perhaps the best I've come across. Essentially, he teaches you to decide what you are specifically looking for in a woman, and communicate that directly when talking to girls. So instead of trying to match up to her standards, you're qualifying her to see if she meets yours.
This is where you will get a lot of the gold nuggets that teach you how to make women compelled to seek your approval. It's very effective at creating sexual tension and will give you an edge over your competition. While in theory this should work on all women because it is based on proven psychology, in reality this is not necessarily the case.
The reason being, these girls are used to getting their own way with men all the time. It's rare for them to encounter a man with unshakable core confidence and who is prepared to stand up to them.
Top Intermediate Dating, Sex and Relationships Advice
Deep down, this is what these types of women are really looking for. Whereas most guys try to win these women over by pleasing them, Swinggcat teaches how to compel them to please you. On the other hand, women of average looks and lower confidence will often be put off if you try these techniques on them. You will simply be bringing up a lot of insecurities they already have and waving them in their face. You risk touching a raw nerve where the girl feels that she is not good enough in comparison to other girls and she'll feel you wouldn't want to be with her.
This is something that the book doesn't cover, but is extremely important to take into consideration. To understand attraction on a more basic level, you may want to check out Make Women Want You. A lot of Swinggcat's personal experiences of seducing women occur in Los Angeles, where women are extremely attractive and get approached frequently. His tactics would be most effective in this environment. So if you're wanting to pick up women 'out of your league' and prefer higher-end bars and nightclubs, his approach is a great way to go.
If you're just looking for a low-maintenance girlfriend who you have a lot in common with then most of what is suggested in this book won't be necessary.
The first half of the chapter relates to the inner game of approaching women, and contains some good advice. But the second half devoted to the outer game contains nothing new. Some of the ways he suggests to approach a woman, such as tapping her from behind, are questionable at best. To his credit, Swinggcat suggests not using any of his own approaches word-for-word, but to learn the model and then create your own. If you are not able to approach women effectively, this is not the most comprehensive book to learn from though.
Consider checking out the chapter on approaching women in the Magic Bullets Handbook instead. The strength of this book is how effective it is when used early on in your interactions with women. You wouldn't want to continually use all these techniques on a woman once things have progressed further.
But when you're in a relationship if you continually keep it up, you risk damaging the connection that you've developed. Throughout the night, as she interacts with these guys, that hierarchy might change a little bit, but at a certain point, it really starts to solidify. The guy at the top of the list, he has a pretty good shot at taking her home. Like you say, the good things about you are getting ignored and the women will focus on the negatives.
Yeah, I think what happens for a lot of guys is the more they go out to bars, they become aware of the rules of conventional courtship. They become painfully aware that they need certain qualities to compete against the other orbiter. I think this is kind of a big metaphor not only for life but for how some guys play a different game to get high-quality women.
Yeah, and unless you're a masochist and you're really set on getting into these clubs — which, for a long time, I was one of those people — you start to figure out how to get into these places without spending a dime.
And the same thing is true with high-caliber women. Is this masculine polarity? She noticed that middle class parents use what she calls the concerted cultivation strategy. What that is the middle class parents instill in their children a sense of proactive entitlement. That basically is instilling the belief that they can get what they want out of a social situation and giving them the strategies for doing it.
They also get them involved in lots of extra-curricular activities like karate and Little League and soccer, and this gives them ample opportunity to practice questioning, challenging, negotiating with adults, so they can get what they want out of the social situation and really [inaudible Because middle class kids grow up to have this proactive sense of entitlement, they tend, on average, to be a little bit more successful. I think this whole model of proactive entitlement spills over nicely into sexuality.
I definitely think that boys who are sexualized at a young age learned a proactive sense of entitlement with women that their late bloomer counterpart oftentimes did not.
Let me back up. I think, one, definitely a proactive sense of entitlement is what I call prizing. The basic idea of prizing is that a woman sees you as the prize when you have enough value in her eyes. One of the ways in my virtual e-book, Real World Seduction, that I talk to prize women was to put them —. I had this whole concept of frames, and when you define the underlying meaning of the interaction between you and a woman as you being the prize and her being the suitor, trying to win you over — let me back up.
Basically the idea behind frames is by changing the underlying meaning, you put the woman into the role of the suitor trying to win you over and you put yourself into the role of the prize. Any questions so far for me? The way you approached it was looking basically at the rich and how they have a sense of entitlement, and I can very much relate to that for many of my experiences.
If you assume that things are going to work for you, they tend to. People who saw it would get weirded out by it and the people in the queue would think something was going on. It was just a sense of entitlement. You have to get used to having that sense of entitlement and assuming it with other people. A lot of what I believe prevents men from having entitlement with women is actually their ego. The basic idea for entitlement — one of my basic ideas — is something called masculine polarity.
The basic idea is when the polarities align, they attract each other like magnets. One of the issues is that because of how conventional courtship is set up, men usually end up projecting a feminine polarity, and they actually pull the woman into a masculine polarity.
What happens is as men orbit a woman, they feel more and more attraction for her.Push Pull Flirting Method - Techniques, Examples, and Does it work?
But if you learned to project masculine polarity, something almost magical happens. You pull the woman into a feminine polarity and she begins to orbit you, and she feels a strong polarity attraction. Instead of seeing you in relation to other guys, she sees herself in relation to you. So instead of putting you somewhere on that hierarchy, that hierarchy becomes irrelevant, and she worries about where she falls on your hierarchy.
Do you have any comments on that?
Real World Seduction Reviews
No, but this is something that I think is embedded in science — the only we understand anything in our lives is compared to other things. I mean, you can tell this. Your senses are relative compared to everything else. Yeah, and everything — the meaning of it is very contextual and I think, for women, this is even more true for them than it is for men. Largely, what it means for a woman to be romantically in love with a guy is for that guy to become her whole world, for him to define her.
A way to put it is that masculine polarity largely defines feminine polarity. When you project a masculine polarity, the woman is compelled to define herself in terms of you. To put it another way, her self-worth and sense of identity hinges on you when you have her in a feminine polarity.
But at the same time, lots of our women are acting more masculine. But at the same time, men are acting more feminine. But if you can reinforce your masculinity, you can change that. Is that kind of —? I think projecting a masculine polarity so you can pull a woman into a feminine polarity really starts with developing an inward locus of validation.
Basically what that means is that you draw yourself worth from the inside, from yourself, as opposed to outside sources, as opposed to other people. I guess, if we take a little scenario here, say they get rejected by a girl. It was nice talking to you. Another example is if you approach a girl and she acts bitchy towards you. I am going to give some exercises for not getting hooked by your ego.
As you start to detach from your ego, you can reverse that frame and make the woman actually chase you, see you as the prize and put her into the role of the suitor. So what would be some practical measures to create this situation? What I want to show are ways of controlling your ego so you can naturally stay within this masculine polarity.
Yeah, that sounds better. I mean, guys are using routines less and less in reality. They use them to just get started and then they want to move on and actually develop themselves. All I did was go out and start shooting my mouth off, and it was kind of like this experiment. And so I hung out with them and I just started talking a lot more, and things went well for me. And then a few years later, when all the routines came, I started to use that and practice that. Some of it worked for me. I mean, what I noticed also was that I went through this intense time just like you where I was just going out all day, all night — as you said, which was pretty pathological.
It was getting very boring as well. I started the company, coaching people with this. At the time there are a lot of routines to help the guys get started because I was also going out and teaching people in the clubs, so I was having to do this even more.
I tell you, it gets really boring very quick to say the same lines all the time, especially when it starts becoming your job. For me, it definitely gave me a lot of false confidence, like a sense of false confidence. I liked it because without having to think about anything, you just begin mindlessly.
So I come up with new stuff and like when you get a new shirt, I got the same sense of false confidence again, but then I found myself getting worse. I liken canned material to GPS. But I find over time as I rely on it, it erodes my familiarity and sensitivity to my environment. I've lost, to a large extent, my ability to navigate myself around town. In a similar way, canned material, over time, the more you use it, the more you rely on it, and the more it dulls your sensitivity to your environment and the women in front of you.
Put simply, over the long haul, I find that canned material makes you socially dumb as a stump. Not to get philosophical on you again, but Aristotle talked about something called phronimos, which is a kind of an ethical master. Instead, he lets the situation itself solicit him to take the appropriate course of action.
Do people need as much pathological experience as us to be able to do this? There was a big phase where everyone was using opinion openers; it made it very easy — do I need to say what an opinion opener is, or do your listeners —? But the more I think about it, if I were to teach myself back in the day, if I could teach Josh 15 years ago, I would not teach him opinion openers. And I think opinion openers are a big crutch, ultimately. Back in the day, one of the types of openers that we had was the situational opener, where you read the situation.
You see signals of sexual interest; you see her sexual cues. The very act of them proving to you how great they are and you rewarding that does really put them in the frame of either trying to win you over or trying to please you.
I think the ego is actually involved in all of these parts. Did we go through the ten parts yet? The first one is an inward locus of validation. We talked about that a bit. The second is being desire-driven as opposed to ego-driven. The third is being the chooser. The fourth is taking the initiative. The fifth is replacing boundaries. A lot of that has to do with getting outside your head and letting the situation itself guide your actions.
Then we have handicapping. We have radical honesty and we have setting the right precedent. Let me talk a little bit about radical honesty. Years ago, I actually discovered a book called Radical Honesty and I was drawn to it.
He confesses to sleeping with over women, half a dozen men and a hermaphrodite hooker with complete double organs. He cops to letting his dog lick him off. While lying is easy and we all do it, it creates more problems than good. That goes for even those small lies. My sister and I — I made my sister read the book — we made a vow to practice radical honesty for an entire year.
To be fair, we really had a good time making people cringe. I really took this to the extreme. There was a family friend of ours and she asked me if this dress she was wearing made her look fat.
Probably my sister and I inherited a bit of a schadenfreude from my grandmother. After that, I did practice some real radical honesty, which is really difficult.
And I think this is utter bullshit. The need to lie often stems from a need to protect and coddle and enable that insidious little bastard we call the ego.
And I think the real reason we lie is that we want others to like us. You judge a woman for liking something that you secretly like to give her a hard time, to challenge her and make her qualify herself to you.
But in all fairness, lying, as we all know, has enormous consequences. One, you have to keep the lie up. Oftentimes you got to make up even more lies to cover your tracks. Now you got to go to this terrible concert. Yeah, I read that book. After I read Lying, I had the same thing.