British Columbia · Calgary · Edmonton · Saskatchewan · Saskatoon . After two years of dating the perfect checklist man, our relationship came to an end. Sai is a Hindu-Indian who, from a Muslim-Pakistani perspective, is the epitome a Muslim, or that he was dark-skinned or wasn't going to be a doctor. The Largest British Indian Asian Dating Service. Over UK website users per month. For online dating, events & speed dating for Hindu, Sikh & Muslim. Nearly all Muslim singles events are female-dominated, unless a tradition for British men originating from the Indian subcontinent to marry.
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Share via Email 'Muslim women, unlike men, are restricted as to whom they can marry. Marrying outside the faith is often only considered permissible if the men convert. These are events where Muslim men and women meet for the purpose of seeking an ideal marriage partner. At the event, there were around five women to every man. Well-turned-out women sat around dejected, twiddling their thumbs, waiting to speak to the select few.
Sadly, it's not an isolated example.
- 'My bravery was put to the test when I met and fell in love with Sai.'
- The epitome of taboo
Up and down the country, hundreds of women in their 30s and 40s within the Asian Muslim community are struggling to find a marriage partner. Nearly all Muslim singles events are female-dominated, unless organisers artificially construct a level playing field by selling equal numbers of male and female tickets.
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In the latter case, there's always a stampede for female tickets. December's Canary Wharf Professionals Muslim marriage event saw the female ticket quota sell out three weeks before, whereas the male ticket quota only sold out days before. Moreover, the average age of women at such events is typically higher than men.
Rooful Ali, founder of Emerald Muslim eventsbelieves that the average age of women attending tends to be early 30s, while for men it is late 20s. Such occurrences are symptomatic of the growing Muslim spinster crisis, which has been brewing for some time and is rooted in cultural, rather than religious, trends. First, there has always been a tradition for British men originating from the Indian subcontinent to marry women from their country of origin.
Families encourage their sons to do so for a host of reasons, including the cultural expectation that girls from "back home" will stay with and look after their in-laws. The second trend is for Muslim men to marry "women of the book" Christian or Jewish womenwhich is permissible in Islam. I kept this checklist in the back of my mind. It's not something I ever questioned. I just knew deviating from these desirable traits would not sit well with my loved ones.
But deep down I knew checklist man was not right for me — no matter how much my family tried to convince me otherwise. He wanted to put the expectations of his parents above everything else and follow the life path they had laid out for him. I, on the other hand, wanted to explore all that life could offer, make my own decisions and see where life would lead.
The epitome of taboo Drastic differences in mentality and outlook are very often brushed aside in South-Asian cultures to maintain the peace and make sure children get married to the most socially and economically suited spouse.
In Canada, I could quietly end a relationship that, from the outside, looked like a match made in heaven. I could go against culturally ingrained expectations and not be punished for it.
But my bravery was put to the test when I met and fell in love with Sai. Sai and me at a university graduation party in Political and religious strifes in both those countries had made us "the other" in each other's cultures. Jewish man, Muslim woman happily married Historically, Indians and Pakistanis have been one people, but geopolitical differences in the last 70 years have bred hatred and animosity for one another that a major segment of the population continues to uphold.
Back in our countries, Sai and I would have legitimately feared for our lives and our safety if our families and communities didn't accept the relationship. Sai is a Hindu-Indian who, from a Muslim-Pakistani perspective, is the epitome of taboo.
In India, interfaith marriage is on the rise but far from the acceptable norm. In Pakistan, honour reigns supreme even in film! In both countries, there are still stories of couples like us being shunned or even murdered by their own families for marrying outside the acceptable norms.
Some couples have even turned to India's " Love Commandos " in desperate times to ensure their safety.
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A cosmic connection "For couples like us, the price can be very high. We didn't need to sneak around. What mattered was that he loved me and respected me for who I was, and he respected himself and saw that life was too short to live according to someone else's expectations.