Ellen Frankel, Author & Speaker
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Buddhism is all about letting go of attachments, including ideas, so it was good for me to have one of my expectations challenged. I had assumed, that first day when we sat down to talk, that it would be over tea. I should mention that I typically drink decaf and prefer a gentle vanilla flavored coffee, so this was pretty intense for me.
But I loved it. Mark would often be in charge of making the coffee, and when he finished, he typically poured me the first cup.
We drank extremely strong coffee chatting with the other meditators and with each other. I always felt very awake and alive during these times. I was either heading down the road to enlightenment with my wakefulness and aliveness, or it was the adrenal rush from the caffeine jolt to my body.
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Or, perhaps in a more Buddhist sense, it was a balance of the two. Mark had shared with me that he made guitars. One evening, at the Zendo for a meditation sitting, Mark abruptly jumped up from his cushion and left the center. Later that night in a Zen class, the Zen priest explained that even when someone has an experience that leads them out of the center, it is not for us to jump up after him or her. It is their experience.
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We need to honor that. The following week, walking into the meditation hall early in the morning, I was happy to see Mark back on the cushion, and I took my place on the cushion to his right. After meditation, I lingered over the fuel-laden coffee chatting with Mark and the others. Someone told me later that morning that they had left together to talk about some things.
I figured it likely had something to do with what had sent him fleeing from the cushion a few evenings before. He asked that we send him offers of healing during our prayer service after zazen. I learned this past weekend that Mark had died. His gentle smile; his kind ways.
I miss sitting by him and I miss drinking morning coffee with him. There is a Zen chant that goes like this: Let me respectfully remind you Life and death are of supreme importance. Time swiftly passes by and opportunity is lost. Each of us should strive to awaken.
Do not squander your life.
I look at the month of knowing Mark, and wonder how it might have been different had I known it was his last month on this Earth. All I can come up with is this: We should treat every life as precious, and strive to honor those in our lives. Condobolin dating services Commemorating and celebrating, Georgia reluctantly silenced her minicomputer.MORE WOMEN, MORE STORY - The Physio (Dating Simulator)
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